SAME TRIBE, SAME VIBE

The dating world was turned upside down when mobile applications such as Tinder, Match.com, and OkCupid were introduced to virtual-romantics. These apps appeared to solve a genuine problem, dating. However, these sites were not exclusive to user-preference without the user having to filter through their user-dashboard to connect with the type of people they wanted to meet.

Have a meaningful conversation with people from various religious and cultural backgrounds; it will soon become evident that more people in today's generation prefer to marry within the comfort of their own culture. Aristocrats took the practice of arranging marriages to the extreme and in an effort to purify their bloodline, inbred. These days, royals would not have to look to their siblings and cousins , they could join apps like MillionaireMatch, J-Date, and Silver Singles to find similar-minded people who prefer to vibe with their own tribe.

Although we do not live under a dominion that requires it’s people to accept forceful unions, it seems that electronics are making it convenient and popular to secure a life partner by relying on an “expert” to secure a match. So, what is the difference between letting an algorithm in an app or website serve you the type of mate that is right for you and the paternal wisdom used to initiate an arranged marriage as they do in other countries?

FREEDOM OF CHOICE

In an arranged marriage, one does not always get to check every box on their wish list prior to making a commitment to marry. These days, we can choose what type of mate for whom we would like to have access, simply by logging-on to the mobile application that is most convenient. As well, we can join a web-community where we can meet people with similar experiences that will make it easier to predict that probability of compatibility. However, because of this impersonal method for meeting, engaging, and communicating with others, we are unable to interpret other peoples’ energy.

In America, we have the freedom to choose, however we are not free from the consequence of our choice. What you see isn’t often what you get when you find a potential partner online. When we meet someone online, we usually meet a person’s representative through a highlight-reel of experiences they feel they need to share with an audience to impress them. It is because everyone is doing better on the Internet and everyone can appear to live their best life so that they can impress someone who can fall for the illusion. How do you know if this persona is the real deal or just another perpetrator?

“Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.” - Benjamin Disraeli

Now, I’m no expert, but I recognize when a person’s main goal is to impress everyone else rather than enjoy their moment/experience. If someone’s social media feed is consistent with what they enjoy doing: snowboarding, biking, hiking, praying, partying, etc., then they probably really love doing those things and are truly about that life. If you’re about that life too, swipe right.

GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH

I personally defer to my nutritionist, Miles Stucklen whenever I need to ensure I am taking the right nutrients, supplements, and minerals that my body needs to function at optimal capacity. Additionally Miles lets me know what foods I should introduce or eliminate from my diet to maintain a healthy Body Mass Index, digestive function, and energy levels.

Just as some people require certain foods to replenish the minerals for which they are deficient; our souls require energy that makes us feel revitalized. Some folks feel secure immersing themselves in their cultural norm and find it difficult to digest the customs, belief systems, or traditions of other cultures.

What if instead of dating apps giving you what you want, they evaluate your character, trauma, shortcomings, strengths, and personality type, to give you exactly what you need. Provide you with the type of energy you are deficient? Would you be more inclined to use them? Would you trust them?

We usually feel an instant rapport with someone who practices our same religion, or a fraternity/ sorority sibling, or someone native to the district where we spent a significant amount of time (like childhood). The connection is often enough to build a future with someone. Some people date just off of looks. Beauty often fades; interests change, but one thing that remains constant and undeniable is peoples’ life experiences. As long as people are careful not to confuse compatibility with trauma bonding, they will be okay. Beware, it looks very similar. Just because it is good looking, doesn't always mean it is a good look.